Article: Gratitude on the Run

A year ago, I have seen this inspiring TV commercial by a well-known shoe company. A sweaty, lanky guy is running on a rough trail amidst an arid landscape. Nearing exhaustion, the guy stops for a breather. Then, he appallingly begins to speak with himself! Between hurried breaths, two personalities of the same guy are now arguing. One personality wants to stop, the other wants to keep on running. In the end, this guy runs, leaving his "old self" behind.

In a less creepy manner, I had a similar conversation with myself. This conversation centered on gratitude – a topic so simple and yet so profound as to contain many surprises.

Between the two imaginary personalities I have created, one personality took the role of a doubter. This personality asked of the other, "What do you really know about gratitude anyway? Does gratitude even permeate your life? For you, it's all about just saying thanks, right? "

If the first personality is the doubter, then the second one must be the seeker. And that is only appropriate, for it is doubt that seeded the spiritual journeys of fabled mystics and seekers alike.

At the onset, the seeker gave only one reply to each of the doubter’s questions: “We will see.” The role of a seeker requires perseverance to look for the place of gratitude in my life.

My seeker personality listed the things that I am grateful for: (1) shelter, (2) clothing, (3) food ..., the list just goes on and on. From this gratitude list and from the feelings that this list evoked from me, I drew my own conclusions:

Gratitude makes me content. I am assured of shelter, clothing, and three basic meals per day. I am blessed to have both family and close friends. I have plenty of creative goals and activities to keep me busy. In many ways, I have more than enough.

Gratitude renews perspective. The feeling of contentment removes me from the painful struggle towards more material things. When I am rapt with satisfaction for the present moment, I no longer care where others are going. I begin to doubt whether they're going anywhere at all, or whether they're just mimicking others in their frantic running.

Gratitude makes me aware. I am regularly paying attention to details to add more items to my gratitude list.

Gratitude is acceptance. Looking at my list, I can only mutter, "This is what I have, both not-much and more-than-enough compared to other people's standards." In expressing my gratitude, judgment and comparison become unnecessary. It is more important to appreciate what I have now and to feel good about it.

Gratitude opens possibilities. Being grateful for what I have opens me up to the possibilities of what I can become. Gratitude switches on the neon arrow sign that shows the next logical step I can take.

Gratitude opens the heart. It's almost cliché that to give and receive gratitude freely, one must have an open heart.

Gratitude can be a bridge to forgiveness. Gratitude is the spiritual garnish that makes the dish of forgiveness appealing and, even possibly, palatable. It's amazing how I could muster enough motivation to scribble my enemies' names on my gratitude list. Appreciative of the personal growth they've unintentionally caused me, I can now exert the necessary effort to put myself in their shoes and to forgive them – one little step at a time.

Gratitude is both passive and active. Writing down items in my gratitude list requires some effort. The mind that constantly sees the negative must be put aside. Giving thanks may mean taking an act of will. It can be as forceful as a sacred sword of truth that slashes at the illusions of depravity and unworthiness that mar my vision of life. But then, there is also the sublime passivity in gratitude, where I suddenly feel cushioned by the world and showered by its blessings.

Having assuaged all my doubts about the presence of gratitude in my life, I have been transformed into an entirely new self. "This is what I knew gratitude to be," I told the doubter, my old self. Having said this, I imagined breaking into a run, along this rough trail in an arid landscape. I knew that I am leaving my old self behind. But I also knew that I am not disjoint from him. I developed from him. I was built from his experience, even from his doubts. So unlike this guy in the TV commercial, I took a momentary halt to turn around and to look back. With a self-composed equanimity to contain my bursting appreciation, I openly smiled and hollered, "Thanks!!!"



About this article: I wrote this article a year ago for a spiritually-inclined non-profit organization. In hindsight, I think the whole article is pragmatic rather than spiritual. But shouldn’t all spiritual things be pragmatic? Anyway, I got permission to post this article in my blog on one condition: that my post should not coincide with the organization’s publication. Well, it’s been a month now, so you see it here.

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Remember when you were a kid, when ideas were shoved into your head by adults? In my case, nuns pushed the idea of gratitude. But I was confused about its true significance. As I grew, I accidentally read about it in some self-help books. But the topic of gratitude was written in what is often an emotional (flowery?) and spiritually-glittered prose that, in my opinion, obscured it of personal meaning. So, in speaking in my own voice, I have peeled away the non-essential coverings and revealed its true essence based on my experience. I can now contentedly say that writing about gratitude was a childhood dream that came true.

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Thank you for reading this long post. :)