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My Top Four Favorite Quotes

If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.
- Anna Quindlen

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

It's never too late to be what you might have been.
- George Eliot

It is not what we have but what we enjoy that constitutes our abundance.
- John Petit-Senn (1792-1870) French poet

How about you? What's your favorite quote?

Money and Life

Sometimes, the Oprah show can be touchy-feely. And unlike most people, the lives of celebrities do not intrigue me much. But I do catch shows that interest me, like the one's about leaving your baby in the car just to do a quick shopping (never do this), never letting your kidnappers take you to another location (how you do that, I forgot), doing negative things you wouldn't do as an individual person but you would do as a part of some group (an unbelievable and captivating social dynamic that I observe everyday), and, best of all, men and women of extraordinary contribution to society (where I just go: Wow!).

Then, there's this one: The American Debt Diet. In this show, three families, deep in debt, spending nearly twice their income, are getting some help. I was able to watch the second show of the series yesterday, and the financial advisors mentioned some statements that stung:
  1. "We shop because we want to fill a void inside."
    • No, I'm not an avid shopper, except maybe of books, stories, and grand ideas (haha!). But I could re-word the statement to fit me: I strongly want to achieve so and so because I want to fill a void inside. Or: I strongly want the situation to be different because I want to fill a void inside. I believe it boils down to a lack of patience. My situation could and can become different, but things have their own time for fulfillment. I realized I must do only what is necessary then wait; the seasons cannot be rushed. I always have to remind myself of that.
  2. Four words that can save you: "Can I afford this?"
    • Enough said.
  3. "It is a lie. You are living a lie."
    • Even when the parents, the mothers in particular, have a limited budget, they still want to splurge on their children. The financial advisors admonished them: "You can't afford it. You just can't," which started a mild argument between them. In rebuke of the parent's defenses, the financial advisor said something like, "It is a lie. You want your child to believe in a lie."

      That was very powerful.

      Since we tend to lack a belief in our personal worth, especially when our "neighbors" get ahead of us, we create a compensatory persona of who we think we should be instead of who we are now. I think, to some degree, all of us does this. But it has some purpose: it puts us in the position where we question ourselves about what's really important...for us. In this search for what's really important, I have always found it inspiring to rely on my top four favorite quotes, which I write on my next post.

Note: I was surprised that the desire to write a little, internal note about the show's topic exploded into a full-blown blog post. The blogger's block has momentarily melted...crushed...exploded to pieces...crumbled...fallen off...disappeared. Cheers!

Psycho-Analyzing Relationships

A Yahoo Messenger conversation a little while ago:

  • *friend*:I'm...working on a new article...

  • *friend*: Why do you think guys physically hurt their girlfriends?

  • *friend*: Do you think there are some instances when it is justified? Why or why not?

  • ...

  • *selfshift*: I think guys who hurt their girlfriends have the ff characteristics: (1) in general, they lack sensitivity of other people's feeling; (2) they have lots of anger (not necessarily about their girlfriends) that explodes to violence to their loved ones; (3) they compensate for their inner lack of power through domination; and (4) they have girlfriends that permitted themselves to be hurt again and again due to some reason, like maybe feelings of unworthiness. These instances are never justified unless the girlfriend is an enthusiastic and willing boxing/martial arts sparring partner. *lol*

  • ...

  • *friend*: ... what do you think of the "practice" of girls slapping their boyfriend in the face?

  • *selfshift*: ah, I wouldn't know. I'm tall for any girl to easily slap me. Maybe it's their way of shaking the gelatinous head of their boy friend to put some sense into it or, in an opposite manner, to put chaos in an otherwise intelligent mind so that the boyfriend will comply with her wishes. *lol* Still, it's an explosive act that results from basically similar reasons as those guys that physically hurt girls.



Just posted it, cause it's a good marker of my views -- good for self-knowledge since I wrote what immediately popped into my mind. I wouldn't defend it for the world, though. I'd like to consider my views ... malleable to experience.